BoomerChicks

Just the Facts Ma'am!

I have become completely "blogged" down.  Rather than spending my time just writing about my experiences or thoughts, I have become immersed in research verifying every little fact to maintain some credibility.  The result -- over 300 unpublished posts, piles of scrappy little notes and a Library of Congress list of bookmarks on my computer!  

What is extremely bizarre about research these days is that no one believes the facts anyway.  It seems that all sources have some kind of bias, prejudice or political leaning and cannot be trusted, depending on personal beliefs.  For example, the data that comes out of the CBO (Congressional Budget Office) is tauted by the political right as skewed.  Likewise, a verbatim quote is considered "taken out of context" if the reader chooses to ignore the intent as a means of defending their own set of beliefs.  As well, all the fact check sources are either defended or opposed based on how one WANTS to advance their own agenda.  No longer do we have to prove the facts, we merely have to spin, embellish or exaggerate them to fit into our own little worlds.  

With all the email, social media and television exposure, we are drowning in spin.  I have no idea how they compose academic papers these days.  Do they still cite sources or has it moved beyond that to researching the source before you can believe it to be fact or fiction?  We revel in "gotcha" moments or overpowering each other with "talking points", and even worse -- character assination.   

I used to like the whole investigative process, but with the fiction being produced along with the buzz words, repetitive message marketing and the easy access to it, seeking the truth has become very difficult.  This modern version of disseminating information has encouraged us to just blindly believe those who share our own philosophy. It is a process that has definitely dumbed us down and led us down the road to blame games and always looking for a smoking gun. 

So here I sit, writing half finished blog posts that never get published.  Back in the day this may have been called writer's block, but today I call it a lack of trust.  May be there is a little apathy involved as well, a who cares sort of thing.  After all we really do live in a country where we can believe anything we want.  For me though it goes a little further.  Research is very time consuming, eats up hours, and sometimes you are still left with a big fat question mark, a cliff hanger.  

Aspirin Anyone?

 

Many years ago, I can remember being in a round table discussion regarding the discrepancy between men and women salaries.  At that time, studies showed that women were making gains in being paid the same rate that men earned for the same job.  If I remember correctly, at that time women were earning about seventy cents to the dollar in comparison to what men earned based on equal factors, title, education, location and so forth.

One of the men in attendance, who I might add, was the male version of Pollyanna, clapped and stated how great it was that women were catching up.  May be it was the big toothy, Cheshire grin he had on his face, but I took some offense to his glee.  I told him I didn't think the celebration should begin until women were paid equally.  I mean seriously how many years have we been fighting for this when we work just as hard as men do in positions of the same responsibility.  His response was that I should be grateful that "we" were close!  "You're almost there, stop complaining", he said.  What a chump!  Despite laws, such as the Lilly Ledbetter Act, we are still not on an equal footing with men in this regard.  

This whole gender inequality thing is again front and center but this time it is in the debate over contraceptives.  Who would have thought that we could have slipped any further backwards on the attack on women?  

I am well aware that the Catholic Church has a really strong stance on reproduction.  I am a Catholic and I understand the rules.  A huge majority of Catholic women, I think it is around 90%, have ignored the teaching on birth control and in fact use it.  Some to prevent birth, others for various medical reasons.  I am not even going to get into this whole religious thing about taking the pill, the Church and the politicians can work that out.  It already seems that there has been a compromise laid out that seems doable to me. 

What has me irked is that this whole thing has now spiraled out of control and has gone beyond the religious realm.  It seems that Republican men think that it should be banned all together or turned over to the states. Rick Santorum's money backer, Foster Friess took the breath away of a female interviewer the other day with this statement.

"This contraceptive thing, my gosh it's such [sic] inexpensive. Back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly." 

As usual this is being passed off as a joke, perhaps off color, or just a bad joke, but nevertheless, it is being described as "a joke".  Aw shucks, Foster was just trying to be funny, you know lighten things up a bit.

Then a congressional panel of all men, again ALL MEN, heard testimony on the subject of requiring religious organizations to provide birth control coverage.  The one woman who wanted to testify was deemed "unqualified" by Congressman Issa, yet no woman stood up to testify on the behalf of religious liberty.  I wonder why? 

When was the last time that birth control was a political issue?  1955?  1960?  It's hard to remember and I am sure that the majority of young people in this country today don't even realize women once had to do battle to make the decision on how many children, if any, they wanted.  According to the Republicans, birth control has now escalated into a war on religion!  The irony is that Newt Gingrich, Republican Presidential Candidate, who declared this war on religion is a fairly recent convert to Catholicism, converting so he could marry his third wife!!  What a scam.  My interpretation is that it is a war being waged on women for political gain, not religion.

Another irony is that after spending hours trying to find out if Catholic insurance policies covered vasectomies, I learned that they do not.  However, and there is a however...it is often overlooked for either medical or other unexplained reasons, and the procedure can be covered!  Viagra is also covered because it helps a man in the procreation process.  Shades of Mary Magdalene!  Let's keep the male penis happy. 

I am not attacking the Church here.  I am a Catholic and will remain a Catholic despite the things that I disagree on or the scandals that have plagued the Church.  I am not religious.  I think of my faith as spiritual and there are things I do like about my Church.  Somehow I can't picture Jesus standing on the Mount declaring a religious war because of reproduction issues.  The Church can work things out with the government on the birth control issue and then I can decide whether I want to work for one of these organization or not.  If folks decide they don't want to work there, the Church can fill those jobs with nuns again.  There are many businesses that provide no health insurance at all to their employees, and again, I have the choice whether to work there or not.  I would prefer that all employers provide equal benefits but I know that's not how things work.  

What I am attacking is that this has been blown into a political issue to once again jump on the President Obama is a muslim-socialist-white people hater band wagon who wants to destroy America and we are going to push women back to the Dark Ages to prove it.  If you want me to enter 1955 then please bring back 1955 gas prices, all the jobs that were shipped overseas and the tax rate of 1955. Yeah, that's what I thought -- it's cherry picking time again.  Please pass the aspirin!

 

 

Mitt, the Dog Whisperer?

It is being reported that Mitt Romney, back in 1983, strapped a dog kennel to the top of his station wagon, known as the White Whale, as a means to transport his beautiful Irish Setter, Seamus to a family vacation on the Canadian shores of Lake Huron.  Whew, a lot said in that long run-on sentence!  So, what's the big deal about this report, you say.

Well, it was a twelve hour drive to reach their destination.  That's a long time for a dog to ride on the top of a car.  Mitt claims Seamus often jumped up on top of the car and "loved" being up there.  I get that, but did Seamus really dig the idea of being up there for a twelve hour long drive at say, 65 miles per hour?  I don't think so, despite the fact that Mitt built a wind barrier to shelter Seamus against the "hurricane" of the drive.  

Apparently during the trip a brown substance began dripping from the top of the car to the point where one of Mitt's sons used the term "gross" to describe the scene.  Not to worry though.  Mitt pulled over at a gas station and hosed the dog and the car down before venturing on to the shores of Lake Huron.

Now to some, this may present as no big deal, but to an animal lover, this creates a problem.  My first thought upon hearing this report was why was the luggage not strapped to the top of the car leaving room for Seamus to travel inside the vehicle.  I honestly don't think it takes rocket science to figure that one out.  My second thought was how often during that trip was Seamus let out of the kennel on top of the White Whale to relieve himself.  I know we stop every two hours to let our dogs out of the car when we are traveling.  Even if they don't relieve themselves, they get the opportunity to stretch their legs and sniff out new territory.  

Obviously Mitt doesn't share our philosphy in pet travels, but this disturbs me in another way too.  It is just plain insensitive.  While Seamus isn't human, he is (or was) a living, breathing being.  But...I guess this is just the way that Mitt rolls because despite the fact he lacked a caring, sensitive attitude toward his dog, he doesn't seem to have much in the way of sensitivity for the thousands of people who were canned at their jobs when he worked for Bain Capital.  After all, is cruelty to animals not a criteria that profilers and psychiatrists evaluate when summing up the problems of the deranged?

May be I have made a flawed analogy, but the whole sensitivity issue disturbs me along with his quick uncaring way of solving the brown substance problem dripping down the passenger windows.  I can't help but think how he would have treated Seamus if he pooped greenbacks instead.  Perhaps the wife and kids would have been stuffed into the kennel strapped to the White Whale while Seamus rode up front in style and comfort.  May be he would even have fought to grant Seamus personhood if he could have performed such a feat as spinning waste into gold. 

While Mitt's policies are not my cup of tea, his reaction to pets and employees are far more alarming to me.  One never knows though with Mitt.  Tomorrow he could flip flop and grant health care to animals.  

2011 Blew By

So I am reflecting over the past year.  Yes, that year in which I completely disappeared from this blog! Don't think it wasn't on my mind as I have over two hundred posts started that never got finished.  

It was a year of big, no huge, changes for me.  I made the big move from California to Montana.  I lost my precious Golden Retriever to lymphoma and I became a grandma for the first time.  This, in addition to getting settled, made for a very busy year and I am still knee deep in busy!

RJ and I arrived in Montana in the midst of the coldest, whitest winter in thirty years.  But hey, would it have worked out any other way for us?  I don't think so.  Everything was white for months and the snow just came and came and came with temps often falling below zero.  In hindsight it was probably the best way to become introduced to winter.  It was the whole winter scenario that really kept me from moving here sooner.  I quickly learned though that winter is really over-rated.  Being in an environment that dances with the four seasons is actually wonderful, especially after having spent years in only one season.

It really wasn't the weather that was the most noticeable change to my new environment.  It was the people.  Now I wake up every morning to a picturesque small town where everyone waves and the compassion that flows out of here is tough to beat even for the 80 degree Christmases from my past. Politeness and kindness are king, but I have to admit, it takes some getting used to.  Coming from California, RJ and I are skeptical people.  To find this genuiness is beyond our expectations and often we ask each other if we are reciprocating properly, as it has been a long time since either of us have been around human beings who are so mannerly.  

It takes an hour or two to get to any big box, logo loaded stores but that's okay too.  You find out that there really isn't much that you need after all.  You discover that you don't miss the crowds and traffic that go along with living in a place that has everything. The Internet is always available if you really need something if you must have it.  We are finding that the good life is void of consumerism and stuff, and simple is far better.  

We do miss our Murphy dog.  He passed away in April despite the wonderful treatment he received from weekly vet visits a hundred miles away.  Along with being a great dog doc, we were shocked at how reasonable the vet bills were enabling us to provide care that we would never have been able to afford in California.  Murphy is sorely missed by us, not to mention by his compadre, Vinny.  I am happy that despite our winter arrival, Murphy was able to walk along the creeks, climb the nearby mountains and discover new species of animals like deer before he became too disabled to do so. 

The very best event this past year was the birth of our granddaughter who almost arrived on Easter Sunday! Thankfully we were at the birth--and can I tell you how incredibly proud I was of my daughter!  She is a true member of this family, no whining, no screaming, no self-pity and bounced back like a chipper little bird once the torture was over.  She was stellar!  I actually felt a little guilty that she was NOT a wimp, thinking that perhaps she had been raised too much in the grin and bear it mode.  

Our granddaughter is a beauty so we took a quick trip to see her again at age two months and then we had the long enduring wait for their visit to Montana six months later.  They arrived during our cold spell but seemed to thoroughly enjoy all that is offered by small town mountain living.  It was so fun to became acquainted to the adorable little personality the baby has developed.  She is an angel.  Like her mother, she is a good baby, actually a perfect baby!  I did fear she would scream every time I tried to hold her, being that she didn't really know me.  My fears though were put to rest as she was more than willing to let me into her little world.  I can't say enough about her and I am sure there will be future postings full of grandma bragging rights.  

 

The New Generation of Leadership

I couldn't resist this little morsel.  I am still falling over laughing.  In fact, tears are streaming down my face.

First, the Republican party rolls out their "Jihad Janes" -- Locked & Loaded Sarah Palin, Armed & Dangerous Michelle Bachmann and Second Amendment Solution Sharon Angle.  But...that was only the opening act!  You know women are never the "stars" in the Republican party, just the puppets.

Now we have the Young Guns of the Republican Party!  (Those Republicans sure do love their guns!).  Oh, and by the way, these YOUNG Guns are all nearing the age of fifty! 

Like I said, tears are streaming down my face!

 

 

Bored, Lazy & Addicted

Hmmm...wondering if my life has finally slowed down because suddenly I am finding myself bored. 

Perhaps this "lull" is meant to be a good thing and pushing me into catching up on the things that I think are fun and interesting.  Like this blog!  Or...may be I should pursue striking off some little naggy things on my wrinkled and stained "to do" list.  Perhaps, I should finally return the Netflix movies that arrived in October 2009, that I still have not watched.  Yes, tomorrow I shall send them back and cancel that account. 

After three years in the making (next month) I think I have my job search down to a science requiring less time.  I have probably managed to commoditize myself as I am pretty sure that I am fairly well known in the world of employers who aren't hiring. It would have been much more invigorating to have said after three years in the making, I have finished directing my first motion picture or I finished my five hundred page novel. 

All is not lost though...

While the saga of becoming gainfully employed continues, the landscape in which to continue my job search will be changing.  Yep, planning a strategy and looking at opportunities in Montana.  They don't know me there yet so it is completely virgin territory!  Moving there has been something I have wanted to do.  The notion though has been hurried along with my current situation of being unemployed for three years in what was once the land of opportunity here in California.  So, the house is up for sale and we are riding the emotional roller coaster of trying to sell a house where buyers are as scarce as jobs.  I just never do anything that isn't challenging.

Of course this relocation thing blows holes in all those nasty haters who seem to think that we "unemployed" are lazy, addicted and spoiled public troughers.  If you have some meat on your bones, own more than the clothes on your back, if you still have your teeth and a bicycle to ride, well then you are still among the privledged and should just stop your whining about "no jobs!"  You just aren't looking hard enough.  Trust me, I am showing restraint here because what I would really like to say is rather colorful.

But...

It's all okay.  I look forward to landing on my feet and living among the sane again.    

Sway to the Left, Sway to the Right

Lately, I have heard comments like "We are going to wish the Bush administration were back in power!"  Really, I say!  Now I am no aficionado of the current Washington crowd, but let me say this.

George W. Bush and company got us into this mess.  You can spin that any way you want, but that is the truth.  Mistakes, in my opinion, have been made in trying to dig us out such as bailing out the banks, but that was not "just" an Obama action.  That was a two party solution because Rome was burning.  One year is not long enough to turn the tide on the destruction caused by the previous administration. 

So, now it appears that the corrective action that the American public has decided to pursue is to vote the Republicans back into office ala Scott Brown.  I call it the old pendulum maneuver or dosi-do to the left, swing to the right!  I am stuck in head banger land!  That's what we need the good old Republican party, the party of "no" and "give it all to those who indeed have it all."  The party of small government, who has grown our government by leaps and bounds.  The party who believes that fewer taxes stimulates the economy while jobs disappear and raises have become a thing of the past.  Oh, ain't Capitalism wonderful?  The party that makes up a motive to justify a preemptive war when the real culprits are in an entirely different country.   Oh yes, you just have to want to wish these guys back in office! 

The Republican party, in my opinion, is the party of the "lost weekend"!  They have very short memories and the huevos of a herd of stud bulls, a very dangerous combination.  What they are good at though is staying on message.  They will take a small piece of the picture and turn it into a campaign and relentlessly repeat it over and over until you believe it to be true.  A few come to mind; trickle down economics, the blue dress, wag the dog, pro-life, and terrorism, thus creating a multitude of one issue voters. 

This is by no means an endorsement for the Democrats, the party of....well....how should I say this?  Spineless comes to mind, as does whiny, schoolyard blabbers.  This is the party that just wants you to like them.  They put forth an idea without looking at the big picture but they want us to know they are fighting for us.  Their ideas often times do not materialize before they are on the defensive and crying that some bully pushed them down and gave them a boo boo!  Yes, they have ideas but they cannot implement.  They are in constant fear of losing the popularity contest so they will say anything so you will like them. 

I offer this piece of advice for the upcoming mid-term election -- buyer beware.  You aren't going to get the perfect candidate to vote for, but you better judge them on more than a flawed repetitive one issue message or the "love means never having to say you're sorry" tactic.  This two-step dance between the left and right is not winning us any trophies.  If our government can't step up or grow a pair, we must!

Small Town Christmas Memories

The older I get, the more fortunate I feel that I was born in a small town in Montana.  I think about how nice it was to have had a few fleeting years to experience a place that was, in my opinion, so Norman Rockwell.  My father's career as a Marine took us away though and now I dream about the day that I can return to this place and live out my life.

Christmas time in small town America, and especially in the 1950s and 1960s was a special time.  Everything bustled -- the shops, the churches, mom's kitchen, the schools -- it was all so magical.  My little town, Anaconda had a Commons located in the center that was frozen over for ice skating with a giant Christmas tree in the middle.  Kids pulled sleds and sometimes cardboard behind them as they walked to the "perfect" spot to sail down a snow covered hill.  Yards were decked out with snowmen and snow angels and there was great anticipation for the "big day". 

One particular Christmas, during my second grade year, my mom, brother and I were living in Anaconda while my father was stationed in Okinawa.  Mom drove a yellow Buick and I can remember trying to help her clean the snow off the car so we could drive to the market.  It was no easy task but it had to be done.  She would start the car and it seemed forever until we could finally move as it took some time to warm it up.  Then we would chug along the icy streets at a turtle's speed, but we didn't have far to go.  If the conditions were good we would drive to Buttrey's about a mile or so from our house, but on most occasions we stopped at one of the little neighborhood markets that Anaconda was known for.  These family owned and operated "little" stores, as we called them, were sprinkled throughout the town and I loved them.  They were havens for penny candy!

My favorite was my Uncle Bill's "little" store because he always gave my brother and I a few pieces of the treasured penny candy.  On one particular visit, Uncle Bill was holding a raffle in which you had to write down a girl's name that had a Christmas ring to it.  The winner would be presented with a 16" Santa that was displayed next to the entry box. 

I can remember so wanting to take that Santa home.  In "those days" you have to remember that we didn't have the decorations that are available today.  Trees were literally decorated with a lot of homemade ornaments, mostly ones that the kids made in school along with a few glass balls and ten cent boxes of silver tinsel.  I watched my mom as she wrote down a name on a piece of paper, folded it and dropped it into the entry box.  As much as I pleaded with her, she would not reveal what she wrote.  I just crossed my fingers that it sounded enough like Christmas that Uncle Bill would like it. 

As it turned out, Uncle Bill did like the name and he declared my mom the winner with her entry of Mary Noel!  Santa came home with us!  Every year thereafter, Santa was displayed on top of the television set, signaling the start of the holiday festivities.  His presence always triggered the annual telling of the story about Uncle Bill and the Christmas raffle.  My mom and I would talk about Uncle Bill's Christmas contest and laugh because my mom would jokingly tell me, "I am sure the fact that I was his sister-in-law had nothing to do with me winning."  I would remind her that Mary Noel was actually a good entry and we would laugh some more.

Mom and Uncle Bill have both passed and the Anaconda Santa is now on display in my home.  As I unwrapped him this year, it was the first time I noticed that he has aged.  His beard is turning dark, his boots are yellowing and his little velvet suit is fraying, but his rosy, cheery porcelain face is still intact.  He is nearing the half century mark and despite his condition, he still holds the most treasured memories of Christmas for me. 

As I held the Santa in my hands and recounted the story of how he became a part of our family, I was struck with the thought that my parents with their small town roots didn't just make holidays special for their health.  They made them special because they loved their family.  Nothing seems the same since they are gone, but I know they would not want me or my brothers to feel that way.  They would want us to carry on the traditions and the spirit they created for us.  I miss them terribly and that's okay, it's natural to feel that way.  What's important is that they taught us the good side of life.  They kept us close to family through their passing down of stories and creating memories, and of course, their small town roots!

Crash & Burn

For the past couple of years, well actually the past decade, I have been on autopilot.  I think I may have finally crashed and burned.  I say this while laughing.  I haven't had a nervous breakdown or any serious mishap occur in my life.  I just got tired of keeping up so I took a break. 

Now they say taking some time off is a good thing, but I think I did it in all the wrong ways.  I just stopped.  I stopped writing on this blog.  I stopped organizing my life.  I stopped gardening.  The only thing I really kept going was my job search.  This break really didn''t make me catch my breath nor make me feel any better.  It only made me feel like I still have a lot to get done and I let time slip away.  Some of us just aren't cut out for doing nothing.  So now I am pushing myself to get it all together and resume the dreaded to-do list which I have found is not really to be looked upon as a chore.  I welcome it. 

All was not lost though during my hiatus from "accomplishment".  RJ and I did take that vacation to Oregon and spent time with my aunt and cousins.  We had a great experience camping on Beverly Beach with our two dogs.  I think we will be doing a lot more camping in the future. 

I also became more active with Facebook.  It seems to have caught on with more baby boomers too, which is surprising.  I have reconnected with some old friends and made plenty of new ones from all parts of the globe.  How did that happen?  Well, it all started with "friending" several family members.  One of my cousins was playing a game called Farmville and really needed "neighbors".  I finally gave in and before I knew it, I was hooked.  I am now a "farmer", harvesting and planting crops on a daily basis.  It seems that over a million-plus other people are also hooked on this application.  It has even been featured on the CBS News!  I have neighbors from Iran, Singapore, India, Canada, Great Britain, Slovenia, Ecuador, Denmark, Germany and all over the United States.  It's sort of the 21st century's version of the pen pal! 

Another great thing about Facebook is you can share random thoughts with your friends, major events and photos.  I never would have believed that social networking could be so fun.  My cousin's daughter even posted on Facebook as she progressed through labor!  Once the little guy was born we were treated to pictures of the happy event.  Who would have thought, huh?  It is an easy way to stay in touch, that's for sure. 

Enough though about Facebook.  This is really just a re-entry blog to explain my absence and to get myself back in the saddle.  I have to say, I was surprised at the number of people who asked, "hey, what's happened to your blog?"  So for what it's worth, I'm back! 

Have Tent Will Travel

Yes, we are packing up our tent and traveling to Beverly Beach, Oregon next month to meet up with cousins coming from Washington, Idaho and Arizona.  I actually stole the title of this blog from my Seattle cousin who coined the phrase when she let us all know she had made her camp reservation. 

Now it has been eons since I camped out in a tent, but I have no doubt that it will be as exhilarating now as it was all those years ago.  RJ does have his doubts though, not about his own endurance, but rather he doesn't share my confidence that I will be able to handle it.  I remind him that I lived in a tent for months while backpacking through Hawaii.  His response (accompanied with an evil chuckle) ..."and what year was that?"

RJ can never seem to remember that I become highly competitive when challenged with doubt and snark, or may be he is as sly as a fox and does this so I will get in my competitive frame of mind.  Whatever his motive, he wants to question my ability to live among the elements for a few days...game on!

We discussed taking our dog Murphy after learning that a couple of my cousins would be bringing their furry friends.  RJ did bring up a good point that Vinny, our other dog would be lost without Murphy, who he clings to.  I started thinking about Vinny being left behind without RJ, myself or Murphy and it only made sense that Vinny should come along too.  So having made that decision, I began to think about the tent we were going to take, a 3-4 man dome tent, would not exactly be an ideal dwelling for two adults and 217 pounds of dog!  We must have a larger tent, I thought.

I did my usual research online and decided on a Coleman 8 man tent based on 1) we need a bigger tent, 2) great customer reviews, 3) not sure how often we will camp, which led me to 4) so I better not spend a fortune on one.  So off we went to find it because I was not going to pay for shipping charges. 

Once we had the tent, we also bought an air mattress, extra sturdy tent stakes, a folding table, two cheapo lawn chairs and a sleeping bag for me since there is only one here at the house.  We cracked up because a couple of these things we actually sold in one of our yard sales!  That's the way it goes down though, you always need something after you get rid of it, but as RJ put it, "we would have never been able to find it in our clutter!" 

It was tempting not to buy a whole bunch of other gear on the market to create a five star camping experience.  One thing that did catch my eye was a porta-potty with a separate tent for housing it!  If one thing has me a bit nervous about this camping trip, it is how far are the restrooms from our site...in other words...how far do I have to walk in the middle of the night to get there!  Definitely too much information, perhaps, but this is where I am all too aware that I have entered into middle age!

As I made my way down the aisle, checking out the gear, I decided it would be fun to freak RJ out.  I began to fill the cart up with various items that finally made him question my madness.

He picked up a string of decorative lights and said, "What the hell is this?"

"Oh that", I said.  "We have to make our site look decorative and cozy!", pretending as if it was normal to decorate the outside of one's tent.  Nonchalantly I continued.  "We can get a cute little windsock to hang on the outside of the tent door too!  Perhaps even add a potted plant or two!" 

"Oh God", he mumbled.

I reached for some "bed sheets for camping" and said, "What do you think?  Should we go with the khaki or add a little color with the red?  May be the red would be too much, might attract bees!  Hmmm...let's stick with the neutrals, after all we are camping!"  

"Is this really necessary?", he said.  "How do you know if we will ever use this stuff again and where are we going to store it all?"   

"Oh, don't worry, we'll manage something", I replied.  "Now how about this nifty little rack to make toast over the camp stove?  You like toast!" 

By this time RJ looked completely frustrated so I thought I better let him in on my little prank.  I spun around in Michael Jackson fashion, busted out some dance moves while belting out in song...

                        Wwwweeeelllllll, he likes bread and butter, 
                        he likes toast and jam, 
                        That's what his baby feeds him, 
                        he's her loving man.

I was quite amused with myself as I returned the extravagant accessories to their proper places on the shelf.  RJ looked relieved and could now return to his vision of camping caveman style.  Funny though, as we made our way down the aisle towards the checkout, he did give that porta-potty a second look.